1%. That was the chance that something could go wrong. Slim as it may be... there are still people out there that represent that 1%. And I DON'T want Jaxson to be one of them!
5%. That was the chance that he would need a pacemaker. I'll take that easily, except it would mean another surgery.
Friday the 13th. The day of his surgery. He was scheduled for 7:30 am. First surgery of the day for Dr. Ciccolo. On the 12th I got a call that there was an in-house baby that desperately needed his spot. Friday the 13th, surgery and times are getting pushed around. Not great, but I more than willingly gave the position to the baby. It also meant that Jaxson could nurse until 8am, so that was gonna make it easier on us. Surgery is at noon, we had to be there at 10.
I was amazingly pretty chill most of the wait before his surgery. With tears and nerves coming randomly. We played, he cried from hunger, we played some more. Noon comes and nothing. We wait, and wait some more. Finally at 12:45 the surgeon comes in an gives us a pep talk. 20 minutes to go...
1:20pm. It's time. Holy crap! Really? But we just got here. I'm not ready! He's not ready! He's only one and this is dangerous! I breathe and not let Jaxson sense my fear. We walk him to a hall and get stopped at a big red line. We cannot go farther. The nurse motions for me to hand him over. "We can't fix him until you let him go." But I don't want to. I kiss him a bunch, without it feeling like it was enough times. Tell him I love him more than words can say. As we walk away with nothing but his blanket in our hands, I cry. And I cry hard. All the nurses we walked passed smiled as reassuring smile as they could muster up. We gathered our things and headed out to the waiting room to play the waiting game.
This chest will never look the same.
The last hug before surgery
Brian's parents brought us some McDonalds. I spent most of the time on instagram (as usual). Brian slept the anxiety away. After only 3 hours (they told me at least 4 1/2) I look up and see his Dr. ... Oh my God it's too soon, what happened?!
"Jaxson is fine, he did great. But I want to talk to you in the private room." WHAT?!?! Don't use 'but'...
He did do great and he is fine :) The Dr. just wanted to inform me of some things they saw and believe the problems will resolve themselves within a year. He was able to remove the muscles that were causing the double chamber in one of the valves and patch up the hole. There is a bit of a "leak" from what they call a residual hole. The hole was 7mm, this residual hole is 2mm. He said the heart will form a muscle over the patch to protect it, and it should cover and close the hole. If it doesn't, it's not a big deal. It is one of those "innocent" holes that won't harm him. He said if he dug into his heart any more to close it, he would have definitely needed a pacemaker because of the damage to his heart.
He said in about 20 minutes we could see him as they took him to his PICU room.
He said in about 20 minutes we could see him as they took him to his PICU room.
We got to kiss him on his way to the elevator to his room, then had to wait for him to get set up. He looked great! Aside from all the tubes and IVs, he looked perfectly normal.
So here I sit with him as he recovers. It has been about 20 hours since he got out of surgery. only 3 hours after, he was already trying to wake up and pull stuff off. They've been keeping him sedated (trying to, anyways) because he's too active! It's okay, I'd rather let him sleep and heal than worry about trying to hold him without hurting him. Soon though, very soon.
He is already off of the breathing machine. (He had decided that on his own and pulled out the tube). His oxygen is ranging between 96 and 100. So that's great.
He is doing amazing and recovering very well.
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